God is good!

Just when my faith is failing in the slightest moments God speaks to me. He answers a prayer or shows me the way. Sometimes its as simple as a word or a feeling when I'm at my lowest that I'm not alone and other times, like today, it's a gift. More time.

That is all I've been silently praying for lately is more time. Another moment to share a coffee or sit and chat. An afternoon to wander the shops or the farm. A smile from Evie to Grandma or a phone call. Even the text messages that have replaced so much have been appreciated moments these last few months.

My Mom's cancer is not gone...in fact it will win in the end but for now it's managed a little bit better. She found some new lumps and red flags went up everywhere. The doctors were concerned, She was scared and the rest of us were left wondering if this was going to be our last Christmas. Waiting for results is never an easy task but then add in a grandbabies first Christmas and the fears are magnified. All the thoughts of missed moments comes to the forefront. For me it was silent prayers for more time.

That is what has been granted for now. The most recent ct scan shows no new growth in her liver or spine. There are new lumps but they seem to be under control for now. This is an evil disease that is eating my mom slowly but for now God has granted us my wish.

I will never claim to be a good Christian. I don't go to church, I swear all the time, I lie occasionally and I've done some really bad things-repented and then done them again. All in all I'm not very good to God but for some reason he is good to me. For this, I'm thankful. I'm blessed. I'm peaceful tonight.