Remembering He is with me...always

I had a fantastic day today! 

 We got our annual family picture done and it is adorable.  I'm not going to post it because we are using it as part of a Christmas gift this year but let me just say I have a cute family!

We enjoyed each other today in the simple things.  Wandering, people watching, smiling and laughing.  We also dealt with money troubles, worries about the next few months and our Miss E's cough that doesn't seem to want to go away.  

I question God almost as often as I praise him.  I'm constantly wondering if he really does have my back.  If he's up there watching me struggle and standing beside me or off to the side laughing.  It's only in my moments of greatest weakness that I truly doubt Him but often enough I do wonder.  

I am not good at letting go and letting God.  I fall victim to the need to control my life and those around me.  I am not free spirited or easy going.  Lately however I've been lost in the midst of circumstances out of my control.  Money...it's always Money!  I really am not sure if I'm not better off without it.  I'm learning so much.  

I've learned to sew...really sew.  I'm even working on a design for some doll clothes for my little ones Christmas Presents.  I needle felt ( a whole blog description needed of it's own).  I am learning to appreciate days at home with my daughter.  Our local library has become a favorite weekly visit for us all as a family.  I've learned that a meal at home can be just as wonderful and fun if you leave the dishes for the next day and just enjoy the food.  There really are free things in this world if you look.  We find them daily now.  

I cut coupons to save a few precious dollars, I scavenge thru goodwill boxes of friends and family for buried treasure.  These are things I could have easily been doing all along but didn't have to so was lazy.

Things are very tight this month and I was starting to prepare for none of the Christmas extras that I love to have.  Then I got an email.  Amazon Fresh just gave me $100 worth of free groceries.  After scanning the email, the website and all the fine print I started shopping.  It was a great experience.  For a delivery service the prices were quite nice (higher than I'm used to but not too bad) and since they don't deliver to my area they allowed me to use my parents address and the items should be there Monday morning.  

It was after I had indulged in all my little extras and bits for Miss E that I REMEMBERED!  God had heard my worried tears in the night as I rocked my baby to sleep, he heard my whispered request for just a little wiggle room, he heard my unsaid wishes.  He knows what is in our hearts.  He knows what we need and when we need it most.  I pray that in the future I won't have to remember to see his gifts when I'm doubting but when I'm praising and content also.  

I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move.

Jesus

Matthew 17:20

So to my mountain I say I have Faith and I am remembering each and every day!