Well the Christmas spirit has hit me smack in the face this year. I can't remember the last time I actually looked forward to spending time with my family and celebrating the birth of Christ with such excitement. I was probably a child.

I think things have changed for me over the last few months...becoming a Mom and all. I don't mean that to sound light or glib...just true. I feel different. Like it's not my place to mope and feel sorry for myself this season now that Evie is looking to me for cues on how to behave and act. I want her to love this time of year. I want her to see the spirit of the season and feel the joy.

She's growing so fast...I can't believe she is already four and a half months old. She'll be five months on the 28th. She's 25 inches long and weighs over 13 lbs. When we brought her home at less than 5 lbs I didn't expect her to grow up so fast. Her doctor (who is amazing!) said she's doing great and is in the upper end of percentage for height even without adjusting her age. I think we are going to have a tall girl.

She still doesn't really like to roll over but will do it every now and then (especially when Daddy helps) and she is still demanding and fussy but she's smiling a lot and LOVES to stand up now. She's also started laughing at little things. This evening Ron was playing with her and the dog was getting all excited. Oliver started growling in play at Ron and Evie thought it was so funny. Every time the dog would growl Evie would laugh. Those two are such good friends. I'm still not sure sometimes if Oliver wants to lay with Evie or in between Evie and I...but for now I'm going to believe they are good friends.

I am still home for now. I don't know if I'm meant to be a stay at home mom or not. I thought it was going to be so different but most days it's just very lonely. I love my time with Evie and I know it's the best thing for her but...there is a selfish side of me that kind of wants to go back to work. I am sure if I did I would just want to be home with Evie.

I am hoping and praying for a wonderful Christmas and that all my family has a wonderful one also. I am also hoping to spread myself thin and make it to all the stops along the way but alas...I have an infant and her schedule will dictate where we go and what we do.

Merry Christmas!