Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Finding my way home

I only seem to blog when my heart is heavy.  When I'm struggling to figure something out.  I pray, I talk to my husband and I blog.  It's been like this most of my life.  I write because I can't always say what I need to say.  


Life is hard.  Money is annoying (unless of course there is plenty of it and then well it's great. hehehe) and raising a toddler is trying.


My sweet girl is 2 and a half.  She is spirited and active.  She is smart and kind...mostly.  She also has developed a voice of her own.  She tends to use it when she is angry or frustrated.  When she wants something or doesn't want something.  It looks something like this...




Ron and I are always good...it's such a blessing that he and I balance each other out. We find our center together and I am grateful for him daily.


Lately we have been dream hunting.  House hunting for those of you who were wondering.  I say dream hunting because it will be a true dream if we can make it all work.  This is where the money stress comes in.  Bankruptcy is discharged and the healing process has begun but we are no where near being able to get a mortgage conventionally but surprisingly enough there are other ways.  They just seem a bit much for us.  I am going to post a picture of this house only because I want to keep my eyes on the prize and am hoping I don't cry if it all falls apart.  




It's three bedrooms, two bath, .25 acre lot and has charm.  It needs work but I'm in love!  I can see living a life here with my family. I can see having family over for dinner and hosting birthday parties.  It's warm and cozy.  Hardwood floors and good light.  


Once our pastor said, "Expand your tent," and it's become a bit of a joke for Ron and I but in this case I'm feeling like I might need to.  I don't allow myself to hope for material things often.  Money isn't flowing easily in our family and I've learned to reward myself with simple joyful things.  We spend time together doing things instead of buying things. We go on picnics and park trips. We spend time at the zoo and going on adventures.  In this case though...I want this material thing! I want it bad.  


For now I will pray that God plants my family where he wants us.  Points us in the direction that we will do His work and lead our lives in His honor.  If He feels like blessing us with this home then that would be good too...LOL.


Today I'm just going to try to dream a little and live A LOT!  


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