It's called SEASONS of thankfulness. Not I'm thankful all the time. Not I always remember to be thankful. Truth is I started the blog as a way of communicating what I need to communicate just for me. It turned into a mini documentary of my daughters life mixed with tidbits and thoughts from my head.
Lately I've been mulling over the thought of thankfulness. I have truly been blessed by God in my life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, a roof over my head and a vehicle to drive.
I also have a husband who often forgets to show me he appreciates me, a toddler who is either needy or over the top naughty more often than not, an apartment that I not only hate but often reminds me of what I've lost, and a single vehicle to share with my hubby that I would NEVER have chosen for myself. I don't allow myself to say these things out loud because I feel it makes me look weak and unkind.
I daily remind myself to be grateful for what I have and not worry about what I'm missing. I pray. I thank God. I focus on the good.
In all of that I suppress my pains. I ignore my feelings. I don't allow myself to grief. And for fear of how I'll behave I don't allow myself to get angry...ever! Mostly this just leads to moments of depression. Times in my life when I just retreat inside my own head. I shut down a bit and have no idea how to deal with it.
I wrote this months ago and never hit publish but since I'm here in this place today...I'm publishing!
Lately I've been mulling over the thought of thankfulness. I have truly been blessed by God in my life. I have a wonderful husband, a beautiful daughter, a roof over my head and a vehicle to drive.
I also have a husband who often forgets to show me he appreciates me, a toddler who is either needy or over the top naughty more often than not, an apartment that I not only hate but often reminds me of what I've lost, and a single vehicle to share with my hubby that I would NEVER have chosen for myself. I don't allow myself to say these things out loud because I feel it makes me look weak and unkind.
I daily remind myself to be grateful for what I have and not worry about what I'm missing. I pray. I thank God. I focus on the good.
In all of that I suppress my pains. I ignore my feelings. I don't allow myself to grief. And for fear of how I'll behave I don't allow myself to get angry...ever! Mostly this just leads to moments of depression. Times in my life when I just retreat inside my own head. I shut down a bit and have no idea how to deal with it.
I wrote this months ago and never hit publish but since I'm here in this place today...I'm publishing!
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